Finding Clarity in Transition: A Conversation with Coach Donna Ruggiero

Life transitions — whether a career shift, divorce, or relocation — can leave even the most resilient people feeling stuck. For neurodivergent individuals, those challenges are often compounded by a lifetime of being told they haven't done things the "right" way. Donna Ruggiero, founder of Donna Ruggiero Coaching, specializes in helping clients untangle these knots and move forward with purpose.

In this interview, Ruggiero shares her approach to coaching through life transitions, how she adapts her methods for neurodivergent clients, and what real progress looks like when change feels internal.

The First Step: Building Trust and Naming the Transition

When a client arrives feeling stuck, Ruggiero doesn't jump straight into action plans. Instead, she focuses on creating a foundation of trust. "Before anyone can begin to feel unstuck they need to trust me and trust themselves, so I set up a nonjudgmental, client-paced space at our very first meeting," she explains.

From there, she guides clients to name the overarching transition in their life — whether it's job dissatisfaction, an unexpected career shift, or a major life change like divorce. "Once that is identified, we begin to unravel each thread that is tangled in their transition and they name the one that matters most to them at that moment to work on. Naming is powerful. And, that power quickly compels people to make change in their life."

Adapting Coaching for Neurodivergent Clients

Ruggiero sees two key differences when working with neurodivergent clients. First, she emphasizes exploring the "why" behind a goal before moving to the "what" and "how." "Neurotypical coaching generally focuses on, and gives weight to, the 'what' and 'how' of goal setting, treating the 'why' as more of a given," she notes. For neurodivergent minds, that deeper exploration is essential.

Second, she prioritizes identifying and embracing each client's strengths and core values. "Too often in their lives, neurodivergent clients have been told that they haven't done things the 'right' way, or they haven't tried hard enough. Perhaps they are exhausted from masking their true selves into conformity," Ruggiero says. "When a client accepts who they are, identifies what is important to them, and acknowledges the strengths they have, we are able to use those strengths to set goals around the way they operate and can succeed."

This strengths-based approach aligns with broader research on neurodiversity in the workplace, which shows that leveraging unique cognitive styles can lead to better outcomes.

What Real Change Looks Like

Ruggiero is realistic about timelines. Small shifts can happen in the first session, but lasting change takes time. "Real change — the kind that becomes a natural part of us — takes about 8-12 sessions," she says. She offers packages within these time frames so clients can envision an endpoint for a specific goal.

Progress isn't always visible from the outside, which is why Ruggiero uses simple but effective measurement tools. "I prefer to have them decide on how they are going to measure the goals since goal setting is individual, but I also use devices as easy as a before and after check-in scale of one-to-ten and comparative then-and-now questions," she explains. She tracks these smaller goals session by session, giving clients a clear retrospect of the work they've accomplished.

A Common Misconception

Many people come to coaching expecting to be handed answers. Ruggiero gently corrects that assumption. "The thing is, a coach doesn't have the answers. But, the client does," she says. Her role is to help clients draw out their own insights and then build routines, organization, and healthy habits around them. "I help them see aspects of their life more clearly. Then, I help them establish routines, organization, healthy habits, and effective plans to make change for their future and to move forward with purpose."

For those interested in learning more about the difference between coaching and therapy, resources like this guide from the International Coach Federation can provide helpful context.

Practical Takeaways for Readers

Start by naming the transition. Identifying the overarching change and the one thread that matters most can create immediate momentum.
For neurodivergent clients, start with "why." Before diving into action steps, explore the deeper purpose behind a goal.
Embrace strengths. Rather than focusing on what's not working, identify and leverage existing strengths and core values.
Set small, measurable goals. Use simple scales (like 1-to-10) and comparative questions to track internal progress.
Be patient with timelines. Real change often takes 8-12 sessions; small wins can happen sooner.

Ruggiero's approach is a reminder that coaching isn't about having all the answers — it's about creating the space for clients to discover their own.